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Submitted on
April 30, 2013
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Excuse me sir!
I don’t believe we’ve met,
But may I have your attention please?
I’d like to inform you
That I’m about to bombard you
With useless pieces of information
Regarding my day

What I had for breakfast!
That I brushed my teeth
That I had a shit
What I watched on TV
And so on and so forth

I can see how interested you are
So here’s a picture of my lunch!
And my breakfast
And my dinner
And my ‘cheeky McDonalds’

Oi, You!
Look at me! I’m a celebrity
Of the world wide web
It’ll be written on my epitaph
How I changed the world
And inspired people
With my shitty retyped tumblr posts
The 54 images of my dog

What was that sir? You don’t care?
Let me inform you that
I scored 100 points on Farmville!
I feel everyone should know!
It should be headline news!

Can’t you see?
I’m the face of the human race!
Isn’t that just great?
Add a Comment:
 
:icondays-be-strange:
days-be-strange Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2013  Student Writer
Applause Clap  great poem :) (Smile)
Reply
:iconeveresshiawind:
EveresshiaWind Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I have laughed and laughed some more! Well done. XD
Reply
:iconadistortedutopia:
ADistortedUtopia Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha thanks!
Reply
:iconladyofsilver:
LadyOfSilver Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Your beautiful work has been featured here: [link]
I hope you don’t mind!
Reply
:iconadistortedutopia:
ADistortedUtopia Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
no I don't mind, thank you very much for the exposure XD
Reply
:icontwistedchick2:
TwistedChick2 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
This made me laugh, amazing work well done :)
Reply
:iconadistortedutopia:
ADistortedUtopia Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha thank you :)
Reply
:icontwistedchick2:
TwistedChick2 Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2013
You're welcome :D
Reply
:icontriptychforinnocence:
TriptychForInnocence Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ouch, weren't you in a sarcastic mood xD Great work here!
Reply
:iconadistortedutopia:
ADistortedUtopia Featured By Owner May 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
yeah... just a little bit!
Reply
Add a Comment: