Twitter

Excuse me sir!
I don’t believe we’ve met,
But may I have your attention please?
I’d like to inform you
That I’m about to bombard you
With useless pieces of information
Regarding my day

What I had for breakfast!
That I brushed my teeth
That I had a shit
What I watched on TV
And so on and so forth

I can see how interested you are
So here’s a picture of my lunch!
And my breakfast
And my dinner
And my ‘cheeky McDonalds’

Oi, You!
Look at me! I’m a celebrity
Of the world wide web
It’ll be written on my epitaph
How I changed the world
And inspired people
With my shitty retyped tumblr posts
The 54 images of my dog

What was that sir? You don’t care?
Let me inform you that
I scored 100 points on Farmville!
I feel everyone should know!
It should be headline news!

Can’t you see?
I’m the face of the human race!
Isn’t that just great?